Peace, Love n' Donuts

Danny Donuts Releases New Christmas Music Comedy CD!

2009-11-11T21:17:00.014-06:00

Forty years ago the Beatles released “Abbey Road” and Danny Donuts was conceived. To celebrate the 40^th anniversary of both of these rock and roll masterpieces, Danny Donuts is releasing his second Christmas Music Comedy CD, entitled “Crabby Road”, a parody-medley of the entire Beatles album.

“Abbey Road is famous for that side 2 medley which includes Mean Mr. Mustard, Polythene Pam, She Came in Through The Bathroom Window and ends up with the awesome drum solo and battling monster guitars on The End. So I thought what would it be like if the entire album was a medley… with a Christmas theme? I don’t know if anyone has ever done a parody of an entire album before.”

Donuts enlisted his pals from The Fest for Beatles Fans and had faith it would all “Come Together” (the first song on Abbey Road)

“We put this whole thing together in Gintas’s living room. He has this awesome computerized musical playland in his house. Big D e-mailed us music files from Southern Indiana. He laid down a bass line and played his 12-string guitar along to a click-track. We then brought in Bob Dobro from Liverpool Legends who did his magic on keys. Gintas added drums, some bass, electric guitar, sound effects and background vocals. We recorded all the vocals in an all-night marathon recording session, finishing up in the wee hours of December 23^rd, 2008. Since there wasn’t enough time to give it a proper release for last Christmas, we’re releasing it right before Thanksgiving. It’s never too early for Christmas music when that music is your favorite Beatles’ songs!”
Donuts also honors the day after Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. Sun King becomes Retail King and Because (The Hanukkah Version) has a little Jewish boy asking an elder questions like why he doesn’t get to go to the mall to wait in line for a chance to sit on a fat man’s lap.

Donuts’ first Christmas Music Comedy album, “Wacky Winterland” has gotten national and local radio airplay on The Doctor Demento Show, Terri Hemmert’s Breakfast With The Beatles on WXRT, WLUP’s Jonathon Brandmeier Show, and WGN’s Steve Cochran Show.

Copies of Crabby Road will be available at the CD Release party on Saturday, November 21, at Donuts on Ice on December 2^nd, The Danny Donuts Holidaze TrolleyDaze Lights Tour on December 12 and online at DonutsnJoe.com/Stuff2Buy

Tickets On Sale 10.10@10!

2009-10-09T21:47:00.006-05:00

Tickets for The Danny Donuts Holidaze TrolleyDaze Lights Tour on 12/12 go on sale Saturday Morning October 10 at 10am. Only 30 tickets will be sold and tickets will only be sold online. The online box office has been moved to DonutsnJoe.com
Sorry for the inconvenience, but we can serve you better at DonutsnJoe.com
Use your credit card or PayPal Account to purchase tickets.
Good Luck and I hope to see you on the Jolly Trolley!
Thanx,
Danny

10-10 at 10 Buy Tickets Here

2009-10-03T15:01:00.002-05:00

This is the place to buy Tickets for the 2009 Danny Donuts Holidaze TrolleyDaze Lights Tour!

Stop back on October 10^th at 10am (10/10 at 10:00am)

The Holidays Lights Tour throughout downtown Chicago will take place Saturday December 12 from 7pm to 9pm (12/12). The 30 lucky ticket holders will be treated to a holiday party like no other… wacky songs and Christmas comedy by your host, Danny Donuts, the Jolly Trolley Trivia Game Show with your chance to win cool stuff, all the bright lights and Christmas cheer you can handle, and complimentary Christmas cookies, hot cider and hot chocolate will all be served on board. It’s open to all-ages and tickets are $15 per person. Some internet rumors have been circulating that a second tour might be added if the first one sells out. That alleged tour would be from 9 to 11pm but we have been unable to get confirmation on these rumors.

Danny Donuts In: The Case of The Stolen Donutmobile

2009-07-17T10:53:00.005-05:00

It was a sunny morning in the city of Chicago. It’s not often a private eye like me sees the morning sun, but today was different. I was working on my new van. It wasn’t much of a looker, but I got a good deal on it… $450. Purchased it from a shady character in a shady part of town… 130th and Torrence. The guy had me meet him in the parking lot of a closed-up greasy spoon. He claims he didn’t know much about it… the van, not the diner. Fellow owed him some money so he gave him the van. I didn’t care. He had the title and everything looked legit. And besides, some guy is driving around town in the van that was stolen from me and he doesn’t have a title or keys. Come to think of it, he doesn’t have brakes either. I needed to get something and I needed something fast.

When my stolen property is recovered, I’ll be glad of my recent acquisition… seeing as though I bought a duplicate make, model and year. Yep, another 1993 Plymouth Grand Voyager. I could use some parts and my old van definitely had parts. My cell phone rang. It was Dave. He got some mail over at the old place and it looked official. Holding it up to the light he could see it was a Notice of Violation from the guys down at City Hall. I gave him permission to open it, even though I knew he already did that. A photo of my last van. Parked on some street neither Dave or I had ever heard of. You know the street is obscure when Dave the Limo Guy has never heard of it. They nailed me for $50 for a missing front license plate. It had the plate before it was stolen. This was the clue I was waiting for.

I rounded up some accomplices and went to steal it back. Hoped no one would be sleeping in it when we found it. We found Fuller Street, a sad little angled street only 3 blocks long, bordered by Archer, the river and the old quarry and underneath the tracks and the Stevenson. We came up empty. The picture was taken two weeks ago. Who knows where it is now. Just like a plumber has leaky pipes and a builder lives in an unfinished house, I can crack any case in this town except my own.

My new van ain’t so bad. I’m kind of getting attached to it. She’s got 170,000 miles on her, but she wears ‘em well. I put a couple of ironing boards on the roof rack so the hoodlums will think twice about stealing this one. You just don’t steal a van from a guy who puts ironing boards up on the roof. You don’t know what kinda nut you’re dealing with… and what he’s capable of doing if he catches ya. Here’s a picture of the new ride.

As far as Donutmobiles go, this is like the Super hero of Donutmobiles, so I’m calling this one The Super Donutmobile. They can’t keep me down. This time they got away, but it’s only a matter of time before the next ticket comes in the mail. I’ll keep ya posted on any new developments.

Viva Las Beatles!

2009-04-20T22:22:00.019-05:00

Each year there are two weekends that I partake in that recharge my batteries, remind me who I really am and light me up like The Las Vegas Strip. Every August since 1997 I’ve attended Chicago’s Beatlefest (now known as the Fest for Beatles Fans). I haven’t missed one yet and I’ve performed on the big stage each year. And since 1999, I’ve gone to at least one therapeutic humor conference each year, although I missed out on the laughs last year. The therapeutic humor conferences have always been in February, March or April so the early spring laughter has been able to sustain me into the late summer music fest.

What would happen if I somehow combined these experiences? Although the New York/New Jersey Metro Fest for Beatles Fans happens in March and there is a Fest in Las Vegas in July, I made my first trip to Las Vegas this past April Fools Day and my weekend was filled with both Therapeutic Humor and the Beatles! I was invited to take part in the annual Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) Conference as both the MC for our Friday night member showcase and as a co-leader for Saturday afternoon’s therapeutic clown field trip to an assisted living center. AATH gave us Saturday night off to go play in Vegas and I learned a long time ago to never go home the day the conference ends, so we had Sunday night open as well.

I’ve wanted to see LOVE, the Beatles’ Cirque du Soleil show since it opened in 2006. All of my Beatles’ pals loved it and I knew I would too, but could I get tickets? Could I afford to go? I looked into several options for discounted tickets and it came down to the stressful “let’s see if we can get half-priced tickets at the day of show discount booth.” All the usual worrisome thoughts filled my head… “What if they’re sold out? What if only the most expensive seats were discounted? What if I come all the way out to Vegas and I don’t get to see LOVE?” While I attended the morning keynote presentations at the conference, Barb went out to score the tickets. She has an amazing talent at producing the proverbial golden ticket at times like this, so I knew I was in good hands, but just how it would unfold remained a mystery. The Tahiti Village time-share condo sales team was out in full force and they had the cheapest tickets if we would sit through two hours of their repulsive sales pitch, but then Barb found a decent deal and bought tickets for the Sunday night early show. We were going to see LOVE!

I forgot about the Beatles-themed Revolution Night Club in the Mirage until we got there. I remember hearing that people weren’t too impressed with the club and I’d agree with them but I took some cool pictures of the Beatles Song Title Double Wall. A metal wall with Beatles song titles cut out of the metal reveals a hot pink wall with all the other song titles written in various styles, sizes and fonts. Very cool.
I’m not going to review LOVE. All I can say is, if you haven’t seen it, go see it. It’s a sensory overload experience that can give you a psychedelic trip without partaking in mind-altering substances. It was real interesting for me to watch the dynamics in the lobby before and after the show. While people are waiting in line for their $11 glasses of wine and $6 buckets of popcorn, they are listening to these great Beatles songs being played on the speakers, but few people react. I’m all jazzed up from the humor conference and I’m finding it odd that everyone in the lobby is all caught up in the “we’re on our best behavior because we’re going out to the theatre this evening” mentality. This is the perfect opportunity for a big Beatles sing-along, but for the most part we stand in single file lines like zombies. After the show is a different energy. People have allowed themselves to turn off their minds, relax and float downstream. Older ladies who might have been the cool moms in 1964 are now twisting and singing along. Smiles, wide eyes and loud voices fill the same lobby 90-minutes after it was inhabited by zombies. What if we lived our lives like that… ready to party at every opportunity instead of waiting for permission or appropriate times before we let loose?

The humor conference took place at the Riviera but we stayed down the street at the Sahara. Our local guide, Bob Brye, once upon a time from Ludington, Michigan told us they have better rooms and better deals. Two of the nights we stayed for $32! On our first trip up to the room I noticed the Beatles pictures and found out we were staying in the same tower the Beatles stayed in almost 45 years ago on the night of their one and only performance in Las Vegas.
Well, I had to go on the pilgrimage to see their room and documented it with these photos.

As a performer, there’s something about being able to say, “I played Vegas.” Of course when you get out there the game seems to be “whoever has the biggest advertising budget wins!” And not all venues are created equal. They say the LOVE Theater in the Mirage cost over $100 million to build… and then there’s the stage in the Sahara casino where a band called
Sixties Mania played for 4 hours each night, 5 nights a week. They pretty much supplied background music for the gamblers in the casino, although they had some tables and chairs and a small dance floor in front of their very simple stage. They always had people in the seats and a few would even venture out onto the dance floor. For some, this was their wedding reception. The bride had a T-shirt with “BRIDE” written on it and wore a white skirt. The groom had a tuxedo T-shirt. We were pretty exhausted from laughing all day, but we couldn’t go up to the room without sitting down to listen to a song or two each night. No, we didn’t hear them do any Beatles songs, but I noticed the bass player played left-handed. And then I noticed he had a Hofner bass sitting on stage behind him. But then the strangest thing was when he had on his glasses, he looked and acted exactly like John Lennon, more so than most of the Beatles’ look-alike bands I’ve seen. He is a big Beatles’ fan and hails from Australia, where the Sixties Mania band originated… “Imagine all the Aussies… Living life with sheep… yoo-hoo…”

With all of the Beatles parodies I’ve done at the Fest for Beatles Fans, maybe the icing on the cake would be performing a Beatles parody in Vegas. As the MC for the AATH Friday night member showcase, I had that opportunity, but chose to open the show with an Elvis parody instead. You can watch my “Viva Las Vegas” parody slide show presentation below. My version is called “Laughing in Vegas”… which is how I spent my Las Vegas vacation.

Blossom Tribute

2009-01-02T23:18:00.003-06:00

In Loving Memory of Blossom the Wonderdog
April 17, 1997- December 30, 2008
Here is my slide show tribute.
Speakers On, Kleenex Handy, Roll the Film...

More Hearse Pictures

2006-10-10T00:50:00.000-05:00

I'm selling my hearse. Read the entry below this one for more details and more pictures

Hearse For Sale

2006-10-10T00:10:00.000-05:00

I'm selling my Hearse. This was the Danny Donuts Tour Bus that I traveled cross-country in back in 1999! I have a 1-man show about that experience.
1989 Buick LeSabre Hearse $1500 or will trade for a London Taxi
142,000 miles
307 V-8 engine
Trailer Hitch (because you CAN take it all with you!)
Rear Air Shocks (for that extra load or a cool lift)
Rear inside door handle (I used the hearse as my camper and see, hearses don't come with inside door handles. Ya know not too many people get the opportunity to crawl out of the back of a hearse and start a brand new day!)
I have the creepy curtains and a homemade set of fun-print curtains
New exhaust and catalytic converter
New brakes and brake lines
Pictures are from last year. The pink letters and purple paint is almost all gone and it's back to the original black vinyl top. Runs great! Super smooth ride. e-mail: dannydonuts@hotmail.com

Miracle's Second Chance

2006-09-24T23:32:00.000-05:00

On September 18, 2006 I had the honor of looking into the eyes of a white buffalo calf named Miracle's Second Chance. Because it’s 2006, I’ll now refer to this sacred creature as M2C.

The news of the birth of M2C came to me via a news story and photo on the internet a few days before I was to make the trek to Spooner, Wisconsin to see my parents. Back in 1994 when I was living in Minneapolis, a white buffalo named Miracle was born on this same farm in Janesville, Wisconsin. I remember hearing how sacred this was to Native American tribes throughout the country. This same article mentioned that Miracle died in 2004.(My visit came a day before Miracle’s 2nd anniversary) A Native American elder was quoted in the article saying Miracle’s task wasn’t quite done yet. A prophesy states that the white buffalo will reunite all the races of man and restore balance to the world. Since I would be passing through Janesville, I thought I would stop by and check it out. Great photos, news, and stories can be found here M2C's Website

Not knowing what to expect, I was quite surprised to find the birthplace was a small 45-acre farm nestled between neighboring houses, a highway and a river. I pulled up the gravel driveway and parked. The scene was one you might expect on a small family farm. Ducks, geese chickens and peacocks wandered about. Horses and other farm animals went about their business. The gravel path extended beyond the buildings and led to the fenced areas where the buffalo roam. There was a modest building where one can buy buffalo meat and buffalo souvenirs and view gifts given to Miracle and the Heider’s, including a cloth from the Dali Lama.

There were a couple of guys with cameras chatting and standing by the fence, waiting to get a good shot of M2C. There were about 10 buffalo of all sizes standing around. Baby buffalo nursed and played. Adults stood proud and kept the little ones in line. In the back corner of the paddock a small white buffalo calf, 24 days old nursed from his mother. After a while M2C turned and looked at us. His black nose and deep dark eyes stood out from his fluffy white coat. There was something special about this moment. I felt fortunate and honored to have this opportunity to look into the eyes of this animal which Native Americans revere as sacred. I was born into the Catholic religion and people of that faith have similar experiences. A woman gets on the front page of the newspaper for discovering a big glob of chocolate that resembles the Virgin Mary. Traffic jams result from the congestion under a bridge where people flocked to look at a water stain in Mary’s likeness. I do not wish to discount the spirituality in any of this, but for me I found connection looking into the eyes of this living, breathing animal. Miracle, M2C and Jesus do have a lot in common. They were all born amongst farm animals, people came from all over with gifts and people looked at them with a greater connection to their higher power.

I drove away from Janesville in silence with my thoughts. I decided to let Miracle’s Second Chance be the theme of my week-long getaway. I also had a second chance. This would be my second visit to see my parents this summer. The first time was busy and chaotic with our immediate family reunion. Seven of us (8 counting Blossom) all crammed into a standard-sized house trailer forced us to be creative with our sleeping arrangements. For the second straight year I slept on a cot mattress under the kitchen table. My nephew slept in a chaise lounge lawn chair in the living room. The important thing was that we were all together. I have happy memories from that experience. But this would be different. It would just be the three of us (4 with Blossom) and there was work to be done. The biggest job was patching holes in the basement ceiling. (Yes, my parents live in a trailer with a basement- they’re very wealthy, you know!)

Working with or for my dad has been an interesting journey. Growing up in the country there was always work to be done. I wanted to spend my summer vacation watching “Family Feud” and “The Love Boat” reruns. Dad had this idea of instilling a good work ethic in his children and made us work in his half-acre garden for a whole hour every day. I was sure he was breaking child-labor laws and I resisted the whole way. I boycotted eating strawberries because I hated picking them. Jaime and I would be embarrassed to have friends over because Dad would have all of us picking beans or peas. It really sucked when our friends thought it was fun. “THIS ISN’T FUN!” We weeded the garden, stacked firewood, and dug our way through 10-ft high snow drifts to get to the garage. And then there was the annual putting up the snow fence family event. What? Didn’t your family put up 300’ of snow fence in your front yard every November?

I’m happy to say I transformed my attitude about working with my parents. Actually, I wouldn’t mind having them for bosses. We all slept in. I started each day taking time to write before having a nice big breakfast. We went to the basement and started to work but before I knew it, they were already talking about lunch. We ate a huge lunch and it was ok that I worked on some of my own things before going back to work. We worked a little more then it was time for supper. We ate a lot and worked a little. We stayed up late playing games and watching videos. We got the work done. We relaxed. We visited. We even went on the boat. We all had a great time. I was present to the love and the fun and the opportunity that it was. I give thanks to that little white buffalo for it was that experience of seeing Miracle’s Second Chance that had me stay present and live in the moment. Perhaps that’s the miracle. The world looks a whole lot different to me when I’m living in the present. A line from one of my Christmas parodies, “Harmony (That’s What I Want)” is “you say that you want to have peace worldwide, well the first thing you do, you got to look inside…” Perhaps M2C will fulfill the Native American prophesy and reunite all the races of man and restore balance to the world. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny

DD at The Fest

2006-08-25T03:40:00.000-05:00

Here are two photos of me performing at The Fest For Beatles Fans August 11-13 at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare. A big Thanx to Michelle Greco and Rose Steagerman for taking pictures of everyone at The Fest. I did a Sunday Night Wrap Up of the Fest / Photo Slide Show and you'll get to see those photos soon at http://thefestforbeatlesfans.com

Peace, Love n' Donuts,
Danny

Beatles Summer

2006-07-31T13:23:00.000-05:00

The summer of 2006 could very well be remembered by me as that great Beatles Summer. With two major events behind us and two major events right around the corner, I think this is the perfect time to share my Beatles Summer with you. America’s unofficial start to summer is Memorial Day weekend, which usually falls on my birthday and this year was no exception. I celebrated my new year and the new season in Louisville at Abbey Road on the River, a mostly outdoor Beatles Tribute Band Festival. On June 18, Paul McCartney finally got his big questions answered (Will you still need me? Will you still feed me?) almost 50 years after he wrote "When I’m 64." I celebrated the old geyser’s birthday at The Wise Fools Pub in Chicago, where Eric Howell threw probably one of the coolest Paul birthday bashes on the planet. The 2 events coming up are Chicago’s Annual Fest for Beatles Fans (August 11-14) and The Old Town School of Folk Music’s Brendan Hedges Scholarship Night on Friday, August 18. I will be performing at both events. Read On!

**Abbey Road On The River -This was my first year attending AROTR and what a great time I had! I was just attending as a spectator which is often hard for me considering how much I like being on stage! It didn’t take long before I became the official camera man for both The Yellow SubMorons and The Johnny Doughnut Experience In fact, I just went to the AROTR site and saw that my footage is posted on their site. Duncan Doughnut posted a video clip on July 9. I have my first YouTube video and it’s from BEHIND the camera. There’s also a great 5-minute video clip posted on July 22 by Jason, the AROTR web and video guy. Check it out. Chicago bands dominated the Festival with 8 bands and lots of other Beatle people we know from The Fest for Beatles Fans like The Jukebox from Puerto Rico and Gavin (George, Harry’s Son) who played with British Export in Chicago for a spell. Instant Karma always had a packed dance floor and special thanks to Jay Goeppner for convincing the Security Guard that I was with the band so I could be in the reserved seating section. There’s no way you can see all the bands so I can only report on the ones I did see. There was this band from Portland, OR called The Bad Dates. They did really good rockabilly versions of Beatles songs and the band was headed up by Col. Sanders! The lead singer bleached his hair and goatee, put on a white suit and horn-rimmed glasses and was a dead-ringer for the KFC founder. Nicole Nigh (as heard on many Danny Donuts recordings) served up wacky British humour with her Rutles tribute band, The YelowSubMorons. They drew an interesting crowd! I was proud of them for doing so great in their debut. And I felt like my Beatles family multiplied exponentially as I was immediately adopted into the Johnny Doughnut Experience family. The Louisville band had fun pointing me out as their cousin from Chicago. Johnny and his cousin Duncan (who has the COOLEST doughnut bass) along with drummer, Freddy Krueller and background singers Sprinkles and Jelly totally rocked out. They were a band I would stop and watch even if we didn’t have similar last names. They won the "We hope we passed the audition contest" last year. This year Chicago’s Apple Scruffs acappella trio (Wynona’s pregnant so they’re really more than a trio) made it to the top 3. I had to leave on Sunday afternoon to get back for Monday’s Cubs game so I missed the huge rainstorm and Woodstock-like mud fest. I’ll have to get more time off next year! Geez, I sound like a Cub fan- "Wait 'til next year!"

** Paul McCartney’s 64th Birthday Bash- My promotion idea for Eric Howell was to once again rent Trader Todd’s party bus, the Tiki Transit, except this time I would drive him out to the Rosemont Theatre and when Beatles fans exited the Ringo Starr concert, Eric could start his own rooftop concert from the roof of the bus and promote his Paul McCartney Birthday Bash the next night. Eric was out of town, so we can only wonder how long it would have been before he got arrested. And we can only wonder what the atmosphere would have been like at a packed Wise Fools Pub. Maybe it was because it was a Sunday night, maybe it was because it was Father’s Day, but the spectator turnout was fairly low. It was still an awesome night. I guess I could say "Baby, I was amazed!" I heard stories how The Rolling Stones would show up at a Chicago blues bar and they would lock the doors and whoever was in the club would get treated to an unforgettable intimate performance as The Stones would get up on stage and jam with their blues heroes. This was the closest thing I’ve experienced to something like that. Eric advertised it as Eric and The Implants with Casey McDonough sitting in on bass and other special guests. I knew we were in for a treat when Phil Angotti showed up with a guitar strapped to his back. And moments later Tony K walked in followed by Scott Ligon. This wasn’t going to be the typical Eric and The Implants show. It turned out to be an awesome McCartney and Beatles jam session. Tony, Scott and Casey play together in The Federales and they are all multi-instrumentalists who often switch instruments, sometimes even in the middle of a song. They were all over the stage taking turns at the keyboard, bass, guitar, and lead vocals. Perhaps it was Tony K with the most memorable moment of the evening when he pulled out the clarinet during "When I’m 64" (See Clip #5 at EricHowellMusic.com ) Eric has video footage posted on his website so check it out to kind of get a feel of how we celebrated in Chicago!

**The Fest for Beatles Fans- This will be number 10 for me! It all started back in ’97 in the pre-Danny Donuts days when I did "Lucy is Disguised as Linus" in the Sound-Alike contest and ended up in the finals, playing on a huge stage in a packed ballroom. It was like, "Toto, I don’t think we’re in Ludington anymore!" Well, after 8 appearances in the Sound-Alike finals and 5 Battle of the Beatles Bands appearances, I have chosen to remove myself from both contests. I’m making that choice because I’m moving up to something more insane! I sent a proposal to Mark and Carol Lapidos and they liked it enough to say "yeah." So Fest attendees will get a chance to see me on the main stage each night! On Friday I will be musically welcoming folks (back) to the Fest, Saturday will be my musical tribute to the special guests, and on Sunday the not-to-be-missed Fest wrap-up. I can’t even start writing that song until the Fest because the lyrics are going to be about what actually went on over the course of the weekend! Each year I’ve been challenging my creativity at the Fest and this year, I’m taking that to a much higher level. I invite you all to be there with me. I’m thrilled that the pool I get to play in will no longer be structured around competition. That opens up huge avenues for creativity, collaboration and sharing. I hope to see you there!

**Old Town School of Folk Music’s Brendan Hedges Scholarship Night- Friday, August 18. One week after the Fest for Beatles Fans will be another huge Beatles night. A few years before I started going to The Fest, Brendan lost his life on the" L," Chicago’s Public Transportation Train System. He was shot by someone who wanted his guitar. He was just a kid, but had already become a Fest regular and had a real love for music and The Beatles. Although I never met him, I’ve gotten to meet his family over the years. Every other year, the Beatles community comes together to put on a words-can’t-describe-it kind of evening lead by WXRT’s Terri Hemmert. They created a scholarship in Brendan’s name that allows kids from low-income families to be able to take guitar lessons. I performed there in 2002 and in 2004 made a special appearance as a bulldog during Eric and The Implants’ "Hey Bulldog" rendition. (Eric kept that surprise from everyone- including his band!) I’ll be doing a couple songs. Buy your tickets in advance. It could sell out.

This Beatles Summer is just beginning to warm up. See you at the Fest!

Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny Donuts

Dress Like Me-Get On TV

2006-07-09T02:55:00.000-05:00

Before the USA-Poland Game, Summer 2004, Soldier Field, Chicago.
I had this same outfit on when the TV cameras came into Ginger's Bar during the USA- Czech Republic game. My interview was aired on Comcast SportsNet later that evening.

The Whole World Is Watching

2006-07-09T02:16:00.000-05:00

It’s the eve of the 2006 World Cup Soccer Championship game. Sad to say the good ol’ US of A did not advance out of their group. The longer a team stays alive, the longer the country is united and has something to cheer about. It was exciting to see the surprise teams of Ghana, Australia, and Ecuador make it to the second round. The excitement and passion on the faces of the players, coaches and fans say it all. This is what this tournament is all about. Even though American fans had little to cheer about, I’ll still be watching until the end. I’ll not only be watching because of my love for the game and the tournament, but because I have something at stake. At the onset of the tournament I got in a pool. Now, this isn’t an office pool or one amongst a big group of friends. This pool has only two participants, me and my dad.

I came up with my own rules, where before Game 1, we pick the winner of every game in the first round, then pick the final 16, the final 8, the final 4, the third place winner and the champion. It’s based on a 500-point system. You pick the winners and sit back and watch. My dad also came up with his own rules. His is based on a 1,000-point system and required us calling in our predicted winners at the start of every round. He did take what he liked from my proposed rules and incorporated that into a complex bonus points system. So complex in fact, that I haven’t quite figured it out. I just keep picking the winners and he keeps letting me know that I’m still in the lead.

We both invested a lot of time into this. I would get up and turn on Univision, the Spanish television station, to see who was winning the 8am game. I paid attention to teams representing countries I’ve never heard of before. I would check the scores online and figure out the next match ups. According to my mother, my dad has had newspapers, crayons, color-coded charts, and an adding machine cluttering up the entire living room for the past month. She assists him in watching the newscasts just in case they mention something about soccer. My parents are living up in the Wisconsin Northwoods with no cable, Spanish stations or computers. I’m living in one of the biggest melting pot cities in America. Every country in the tournament probably has a community in Chicago and I can go to their viewing parties and experience their passion. It’s funny. With this much involvement, which at times borders on obsession, you would think we have something big riding on this: large amounts of cash, a trophy, an “if I win you get to be my personal servant for a week” wager. But no, there’s been no mention of any of that. We don’t even have a dollar riding on it. I guess there are bragging rights, but that will get old after about 30 seconds. Neither one of us had to be talked into playing or talked out of betting on it. We both just jumped in and went for it. No amount of money, prizes, or glory can equal the fun of playing, and yet we’re both playing to win. As the tournament progressed we paid even closer attention to the points and Dad had to develop some risky strategies to stay in the running.

Our involvement of viewing the game and cheering loudly feels like we’re contributing to the outcome. Watching soccer can be a mood-altering drug. People around us are actually affected by our competency of picking the winner. Our moods will affect their moods which will affect others. Our seemingly harmless soccer pool has the power of an epidemic and there’s no turning back. And yet there’s something magical about bonding through a shared interest. For my dad and me, it’s been soccer. He coached me from 3rd grade all the way through high school. We attended games during the ’94 World Cup and the ’99 Women’s World Cup. In 2003, we watched the US and Mexico national teams play to a scoreless tie in a sold-out Houston stadium. So when the World Cup came around, we didn’t think twice about putting our everyday lives on hold for a month. For us, it’s about connecting with each other and the world. For the past month, along with the rest of the world, we’ve watched the colors, the flags, the fans, the goals, the saves, the yellow cards, red cards, the penalty kicks, the jubilant celebrations and the brain-numbing disbelief that hits both fans and players alike when it’s all over for their country. It’s all passion and I feel richer for having shared in that collective passion. The way both our pool and the tournament is designed is that there can only be one champion. It’s just a matter of hours before the captain for Italy or France hoists the trophy for the whole world to see. But even the coveted trophy can not even hold a candle to the real prize… Connection. One Game, One World, Oneness.

Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny Donuts

© 2006, Danny Donuts, dannydonuts.com

Things that make you go Hmm.

2006-04-26T09:51:00.000-05:00

Ever have a garage sale that no one showed up for? Thanx to everyone who took the time to make a Dough-nation. Our one winner, Ricardo won the Kingston Mines package. I'm looking forward to taking Rick and Rita out for a night of the Blues. Funny how people could have gotten Two Cubs tickets and lunch for $11 or a Danny Donuts Live Performance for $11. I can't even raffle these off because no one was in the raffle. Oh well. Hard to raise the FUNDS when people aren't ready to even raise their level of FUN. This will not stop me. Oh no. I know I'm meant to bring Danny's Donut Shop to the masses so I'll look elsewhere for the masses of money it's going to take. I give thanks because I know I have already received on an invisible level and I now prepare to receive on the visible level.

Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny Donuts

Donut Sightings

2006-04-07T00:44:00.000-05:00

**NOTE** 6/27/06 This Post has been edited to honor the request of the Global Garage Sale folks in Vermont. Seems as though "Danny's Global Garage Sale" was infringing on their copyright and since I didn't really make any money, I wasn't upset about honoring their request to remove all mentions of my Global Garage Sale. So If you Googled Global Garage Sale and this blog came up, I would like to respectfully refer you to http://globalgaragesale.net I hear they have some pretty good deals on Mandolins, Maple Syrup, and Mail Order Mountain Girls. We now return to our April Blog...

Good Day and Welcome to Donut Sightings... Here’s what’s going on…

*Danny’s Donut Shop Global FUNdraiser! Party Locally- Play Globally! On April 21, we’ll be partying in Chicago at the coolest piano bar, Howl at The Moon. Danny’s Donut Shop, the HOLE-some kids TV show that makes a difference needs some financial support in a big way. We’re on schedule recording a new episode each month and the latest footage is looking GREAT! However, I’m paying out of pocket to rent a lot of equipment and feed a hungry cast and crew. The creativity and excitement around the show is flowing and I want to keep it flowing so it’s time for a FUNdraiser- Locally and Globally!

*Friday, April 7-It’s Opening Day at Wrigley Field! Has next year finally arrived? Opening Day on the Northside is a true holiday. Every radio DJ is broadcasting from a Wrigleyville bar and I’ll be broadcasting from Trader Todd’s before I hop on the Tiki Transit and transport our rollicking guests to the world’s biggest beer garden. Come join our party or listen in on Good Times Radio, WGTR broadcasting around the world at http://www.live365.com/stations/doccanon We should be going live by 10:30 or 11am Chicago time. To check out Trader Todd’s Party Bus, visit http://tradertodd.com/tiki-transit.htm

*Danny’s Donut Shop- We’re filming episode #4 Tuesday, April 25- Here’s your chance to be in our studio audience. Save the date! Special Musical Guest is Carla Ulbrich! We’ll be up in Deerfield at Starland, http://starlandkids.com

*Carla Ulbrich in Chicago- Twice is Nice! 4/25 and 4/26 See Carla performing in Danny’s Donut Shop on Tuesday and at The Muse Café on Wednesday. http://carlau.com You’ve heard her on Dr. Demento- now see her live! Carla is in town performing at a convention so we snatched her up for a spot on the TV show one night and on the radio the next night. WGTR presents Carla Ulbrich, live from the Muse Café, 817 N. Milwaukee. Showtime begins at 7:30 but we’ll have her on the air at 7pm for a radio interview- you don’t want to miss that. I’ll be hosting the show and doing a few songs and PO Box will be the opening act. More info coming soon!

That’s all for now!
Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny Donuts

Clownin' On Down in Texas or Y'all Go Away Now, Ya Hear?

2006-03-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

A Danny Donuts Humor Conference Adventure

The mercury failed to climb more than a few degrees above the freezing point; typical weather for this time of year in Chicago. Only problem was that I wasn’t in Chicago. I was in Austin, Texas where I was hoping for warmer weather… and a warmer welcome.

Austin was selected to host the 2006 Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) annual conference and yours truly me, Danny D was selected to lead a group of conference participants out on the street of Austin in my field trip entitled ”Clown On Down, Texas! The Feel-Good Field Trip.” Last year in the small resort town of Safety Harbor, Florida we had a magical field trip filled with amazing interactions with the unsuspecting locals. This year promised for even greater interactions in the much busier city of Austin. The hotel claimed to be “at the capitol.” I guess that was a marketing decision. It sounds better than the more accurate “Marriott at the highway.” The actual capitol was about 5 blocks away, the same distance to Austin’s famous 6th Street. Most of Austin’s 100 live music venues are on 6th street and good luck finding any other establishments on that street besides bars, restaurants and tattoo parlors. The street turns into a party every night but during the day it’s pretty quiet and seemed to be inhabited mostly by homeless folks. Ideally, if the hotel was “at the capitol” there probably would have been people to interact with right outside the door.

The choice between a five block walk to the capital or to 6th Street was never made. Not only were there hardly any people out braving the unseasonably cool weather, but none of us were all that excited about Jack Frost nipping at our clown noses. I certainly did not want to see our field trip get cancelled so when Dave Lieber suggested we find a shopping mall, I saw the dark clouds part which allowed the indoor fluorescent lighting to bask a hopeful glow on our bleak situation. Yes! The mall indeed! The carpool arrangements fell nicely into place and the announcement was made that we would still be clownin’ on down!

Twelve of us arrived at the nearby Highland Mall and met up with Renée Cohn Jones (code name "Jalapena the Clown") for this mission of spreading laughter and cheer. Jalapena brought along our secret weapon-her two adorable clown daughters decked out in their cute clown clothes. Even the toughest cowboy would melt and find it impossible to resist smiling at the sight of them. AATH is an international organization and this mission was represented by some of the finest fun-seekers from California, Colorado, Illinois, Montana, New Jersey, Texas, and Virginia and from the Canadian provinces of Alberta and Ontario. Canadians Cheryl Ann Oberg (code name “Miss Loosie”) and June Boag Coleman donned hilarious inflatable horse and bull costumes. Their legs were the back legs of the animal and their upper bodies were joined by inflatable human legs to give the illusion that Cheryl and June were riding the horse and bull. One of our participants provided the sound effects of an entire rodeo as she yelled out “Yee-haws” and “Giddy-ups” at the top of her lungs. At this time I’d like to make the disclaimer that I do not necessarily endorse or take responsibility for any of my fellow participants’ behavior. We’re a classy organization which believes in the power of therapeutic humor and laughter and each member must be responsible for their own behavior while representing AATH. I don’t know if the cowboy screams were the reason we got kicked out, but I would certainly bet that the hootin’ and hollerin’ certainly speeded up the process!

It all happened so fast. We were in the mall for two minutes tops. We saw Jalapena walking towards us, but before we could even have a reunion hug, a brick wall of a security guard came between us and halted our mission. He cited violation 05-73... “no costumes in the mall, at least without the prior written consent from management.” Our resident photographer, Dave Lieber, columnist with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, in classic journalistic fashion started snapping pictures of the confrontation. “Mr. Security Guard isn’t going to like that, Yogi.” Dave assured the rent-a-cop that he deleted the pictures (see Figure 1b).

Figure 1b: Canadian troublemakers busted by mall security (photo by Dave Lieber)

I told Officer Cranky that it was the lousy Texas weather which had us come to the mall instead of being out on the streets and explained our AATH mission field trip to him. Barney Fife then told us to wait there while he went to get management. As we congregated outside the jewelry store, we came up with our game plan.

”Who’s going to do the talking?”
”Well Dave, either you or me,” I said sporting my chicken hat and multi-colored funky glasses.

We decided Dave Lieber (plain clothes division) would be our spokesperson. I watched from a distance as the tall blonde woman manager shook her head “no” to Dave’s request. When we arrived at the mall, I saw that Austin Lieber, Dave’s 8 year-old son, was packing heat. That’s right. He had with him his battery-powered fart machine! Now if there was a more opportune time for Austin to trigger that remote control, I’d like to see it. Austin was running around the conference all weekend with that contraption, hiding under tables and injecting flagellant sound effects into participants’ conversations. I don’t know if he pressed the button at that moment, but I’m sure as time passes and this story gets embellished, we’ll all swear that he snuck behind the manager and let it rip!

As we exited the mall we couldn’t pass up the photo opportunity that presented itself to us. The mall security truck was parked right outside. (see Figure 1c) There were two Hispanic girls who came out and took pictures with us. They thought we were hilarious and said they were going to write a letter to the editor to bring public attention to the injustice that we suffered. Before returning to the Marriott we stopped by the capitol for one last group photo with the dome as our backdrop.

Figure 1c: The Security Guard decides to take us all in for questioning (photo by Dave Lieber)

It certainly wasn’t what I expected. But then again, it never really is. Everything happens for a reason and perhaps we were meant to experience the resistance we encountered. If anything, it showed me the importance of joining together to fight this war of doom and gloom. Folks don’t like getting snapped out of their comfort zone and it’s these same folks who live their lives in fear. To think that 15 smiling colorful characters out on a mission to brighten up a cloudy day would occur as threatening in a city whose motto is “Keep Austin Weird” is sad, disheartening, and freaking hilarious. Our experience encouraged June to write a protest song to the tune “Deep In The Heart of Texas” I’ve attached it as a separate post to this blog. I encourage you to contribute your comments and creativity as well. And it’s my wish that someday, deep in the heart of Texas and in hearts everywhere, you’ll experience the same Love, Laughter and Connection that the 200 participants of the Annual AATH Conference experienced during that magical weekend of February of 2006.
Clowning at the Capitol (photo by Dave Lieber)

Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny

©2006, Pair of D’s Productions, http://dannydonuts.com

RANT!

2006-03-03T16:23:00.000-06:00

I know a lot of people use their blogs to rant, complain, make a fuss, etc. Well, I don't want to miss my oportunity...
How is it that the City of Chicago just doubled the cost of the parking meters in front of my house? It used to be 25 cents for an hour and only from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday. Now all of a sudden 25 cents will only get you 30 minutes. And the old standard "that's the government for you" argument doesn't even seem to work because our Federal government, which probably has a little larger deficit than the City of Chicago, only gradually increases prices- like the postal service- stamps only go up a few cents every couple of years. And would people really make that much of a fuss if they doubled the price of stamps?

Old Time Hockey?

2006-01-14T01:47:00.000-06:00

The other day I went to a Chicago Blackhawks hockey game. Yep. I finally did it. I broke my 11 year streak of boycotting the United Center. I never officially proclaimed that I would never set foot in the UC, but I was never in favor of that airplane hangar that replaced the Old Barn… the Madhouse on Madison Street… the beloved Chicago Stadium. The year was 1994 when the wrecking ball took care of the ol’ lady at 1800 West Madison Street. Now all I have is my memories. Well, those and a brick with a small gold plaque and a certificate of authenticity proving it really was part of Chicago’s greatest structure of all time.

From 1986 to 1994 I attended a lot of games and was a huge fan. I knew the names and numbers of all the players and could recognize them by their face or even their skating style. Equally enthusiastic about the Hawks were my friends Mark Myers and Steve Alvarado. Mark went to a game in the inaugural year of the United Center and reported to me in disgust that you could even get Haagen Dazs in the upper balcony. The yuppies were moving into the neighborhood.

This September I moved to the south side of Chicago only about five minutes away from the UC. I first set foot in the place this October for a Paul McCartney concert and just over two months later I donned the ol’ Indian head jersey and took escalators to the upper balcony. The Stadium only had stairs and to further illustrate how crazy I was for the Stadium, I once counted the stairs. Great trivia for true Blackhawk fans. Magic Man Mike Arch and I arrived just in time for the National Anthem. In the Chicago Stadium the National Anthem was the greatest patriotic spectacle I’ve ever witnessed. 18,000 people standing, cheering, clapping, waving large American flags and sparklers all the way through the Wayne Messmer rendition. I was once kicked out of the Stadium for waving sparklers and throwing stars and stripes-designed paper plate Frisbees. The cheering through the song tradition started sometime in the early ‘80s and the acoustics in that place made it absolutely deafening. Wayne is gone. He sings for the Chicago Wolves of the AHL and in the summers for the Cubs. His replacement has a good voice, he’s just not Wayne. There were still some people clapping and cheering during the anthem, but not too many. It left me with a sad and empty feeling that stayed with me through the entire game.

This was the first game I’ve seen watching through a net. The large arena net prevents the puck from flying over the glass into the stands. I remember the Doug Wilson slap shots from the blue line that would get deflected and sail all the way up into the 2nd balcony. The fans would be going crazy. The celebration equaled that of a goal. And although rare, I witnessed quite a few hat tricks. When a Blackhawk scored his 3rd goal of the game, the hats would rain down from the balconies and end up on the ice. I don’t see that happening with this net. And the “cage feel” really isolated me. I was just an outsider looking in. I always felt like an integral part of the game at the Stadium.

Another huge change I noticed was how quiet it was. Yes, take into effect that last years’ lockout season and this years’ losing season keep many fans away, but man, it was almost as quiet as a Minnesota Wild game. I went to a game at the Xcel Energy Center in Saint Paul and it was like a library. Even in the games where the Hawks were losing, there were plenty of vocal individuals who kept those of us in the 2nd balcony amused and entertained. Mark, Steve and I would be as obnoxious as the loud boisterous drunk fans and hecklers. We were in our late teens and early 20’s and we had our repertoire of hockey heckles, obnoxious outbursts and colorful cheers. I was itching to yell out a few for old time’s sake, but I looked around and saw families and kids… mothers and little girls. You never saw them in the 2nd balcony! They would be in the family-friendly zone of the 1st balcony or the mezzanine section. Only dads who were ready to initiate their sons into manhood would ever bring a child up to the rafters to witness the drunken fights, the beer showers and the craziness that occurred up there. The Stadium held only 18,000 fans and it seems like season after season, all we could score were standing room only tickets. We would get there early to get a good spot behind a railing above the seats and just under the roof line. I did hear a couple of loud fans partaking in some good old time heckling and turned around to see two big guys standing behind the railing as if they had standing room only tickets. There were 5,000 empty seats in the 20,500-seat arena and these guys chose to stand. To these fans I raise my $3.50 bottle of Perrier water.

I wish I had something good to say about the new public address announcer but all I can say is “WHAT? TAKE THAT SOCK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!” Harvey Wittenberg was the best. He had this loud, clear nasally voice that echoed throughout the entire building. “Blackhawk goal scored by number 18, Denis Savard!” Just thinking about it gives me goose bumps. I did teach Mike one of our old traditions. At 1:03 left in the period we would yell out, “Hey! How much time’s left?” And the muffled PA announcer would announce “One minute to play in the period.” To which we would reply, “Thank you.”

Now I’m not about to go on and on about all the negative changes without mentioning the changes I did like. Let’s hear it for the Mountain Dew Ice Crew! http://chicagoblackhawks.com/icecrew/IceCrew.asp
Ten beautiful figure skating females fitted in tight-fitting replica Blackhawk jerseys and equipped with large coal shovels take to the ice during every extended stoppage of play to scoop up the snow and ice shavings and wave to the crowd.
To quote the radio announcer in the movie “Slapshot”… “Now this is hockey!” And to quote me from the title track of my Christmas music comedy CD, “Wacky Winterland”… If the day could go my way/ You won’t see me shoveling the driveway/ ‘cuz I don’t want no blisters leave the shoveling to my sisters/ They’ll be working in my Wacky Winterland!The Mountain Dew Ice Girls are finally giving Chicago hockey fans something to cheer about!

The scoreboard has some nice features too. At one point in the game they featured a “fan cam” where they filmed fans in the stands, most of whom waved when they saw they were on the big screen. I was hoping Mike and I got on because I would start throwing punches at my unsuspecting guest- all to delight the 15,000 fans watching the scoreboard.
And later on in the evening they featured a “kiss cam” where they zeroed in on several couples watching the game together. When they realized they were on, they would kiss and if they didn’t they would get showered with “boos” from the crowd. Now ladies, if I ever take you to a Blackhawks game and we get on the “kiss cam” I will kiss you. And to amuse the 15,000 voyeurs watching us on the scoreboard, I give you full permission to slap me across the face. Now that would make some good entertainment there.

My favorite scoreboard feature however, is the animated Zamboni race! It resembled a video game as 3 ice resurfacers revved up and participated in some good ol’ boy oval track racing. I was employed as a Zamboni driver on two different occasions and I’m quite infatuated with the engineering marvel that it is. I have quite the collection of Snoopy and Peanuts comic strips that feature a Zamboni. Fans got to choose their favorite Zamboni- the red #1, which I chose because in the good old days, the Hawks had a red Zamboni, the white #2, or the black #3, which Mike chose. We put a cash wager on the race and proceeded to stand and cheer for our Zamboni. It was a really close race that came down to the wire, but Mike edged me out at the finish. It was at that point that I made the NASCAR connection. I realized that I just bet against the black #3. The Intimidator. One of the all-time best, the late great Dale Earnhardt. No wonder I lost. Speaking of Zambonis, they reward lucky winners with a chance to ride on the Zamboni while it resurfaces the ice during the intermission. Yes, I would love to have that opportunity and at the same time I hate all the marketing gimmicks that take away from the game. And unfortunately the scoreboard does tell the fans when to cheer. On the radio, Pat and Dale would always point out how all the scoreboards around the league tell their fans to make noise, but that was never necessary in Chicago. The “Let’s Go Hawks” cheer would usually be started by one loud fan and everyone else would catch on. I was sickened when I saw they even adapted the “let’s go” baseball cheer. You know, the one where they go “Let’s Go White Sox” or “Let’s Go Cub-bies” followed by 5 hand claps. The scoreboard encouraged us to chant “Let’s Go Black-Hawks.”

So much had changed, but fortunately the prices had not. I was paying $8 back in the late ‘80’s. I kept reminding myself, I only paid $10 to get in here. I only paid $10. As hard as it was for me to see all the changes, I can’t imagine what it would be like for my dad. He was telling me how back in the 1940’s he would go to the games for $1. I don’t even think the goalies wore face masks back then!

There was a beauty of a fight where the linesmen let the heavyweights go at it for a long time and the Blackhawks did score one goal with 4 minutes left in the game. The goal actually brought the fans to life and even though the Hawks lost to the Blues who are the worst team in the league, the last four minutes almost reminded me of how it was back in the day of Old Time Hockey in Chicago. During the final year of the Stadium, the Blackhawks paid tribute to their home by adopting the slogan, “Remember the Roar.” That’s not hard for me to do. I believe that if you’ve experienced a game at the Chicago Stadium, it’s permanently a part of your soul.

Peace, Love n’ Donuts,
Danny Donuts

© 2006, Danny Donuts, dannydonuts.com

Welcome

2005-12-27T15:37:00.000-06:00

Ok, so like good day and welcome to my blog.
Peace, Love n' Donuts,
Danny Donuts