Saturday, March 04, 2006
Clownin' On Down in Texas or Y'all Go Away Now, Ya Hear?
A Danny Donuts Humor Conference Adventure
The mercury failed to climb more than a few degrees above the freezing point; typical weather for this time of year in Chicago. Only problem was that I wasn’t in Chicago. I was in Austin, Texas where I was hoping for warmer weather… and a warmer welcome.
Austin was selected to host the 2006 Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) annual conference and yours truly me, Danny D was selected to lead a group of conference participants out on the street of Austin in my field trip entitled ”Clown On Down, Texas! The Feel-Good Field Trip.” Last year in the small resort town of Safety Harbor, Florida we had a magical field trip filled with amazing interactions with the unsuspecting locals. This year promised for even greater interactions in the much busier city of Austin. The hotel claimed to be “at the capitol.” I guess that was a marketing decision. It sounds better than the more accurate “Marriott at the highway.” The actual capitol was about 5 blocks away, the same distance to Austin’s famous 6th Street. Most of Austin’s 100 live music venues are on 6th street and good luck finding any other establishments on that street besides bars, restaurants and tattoo parlors. The street turns into a party every night but during the day it’s pretty quiet and seemed to be inhabited mostly by homeless folks. Ideally, if the hotel was “at the capitol” there probably would have been people to interact with right outside the door.
The choice between a five block walk to the capital or to 6th Street was never made. Not only were there hardly any people out braving the unseasonably cool weather, but none of us were all that excited about Jack Frost nipping at our clown noses. I certainly did not want to see our field trip get cancelled so when Dave Lieber suggested we find a shopping mall, I saw the dark clouds part which allowed the indoor fluorescent lighting to bask a hopeful glow on our bleak situation. Yes! The mall indeed! The carpool arrangements fell nicely into place and the announcement was made that we would still be clownin’ on down!
Twelve of us arrived at the nearby Highland Mall and met up with Renée Cohn Jones (code name "Jalapena the Clown") for this mission of spreading laughter and cheer. Jalapena brought along our secret weapon-her two adorable clown daughters decked out in their cute clown clothes. Even the toughest cowboy would melt and find it impossible to resist smiling at the sight of them. AATH is an international organization and this mission was represented by some of the finest fun-seekers from California, Colorado, Illinois, Montana, New Jersey, Texas, and Virginia and from the Canadian provinces of Alberta and Ontario. Canadians Cheryl Ann Oberg (code name “Miss Loosie”) and June Boag Coleman donned hilarious inflatable horse and bull costumes. Their legs were the back legs of the animal and their upper bodies were joined by inflatable human legs to give the illusion that Cheryl and June were riding the horse and bull. One of our participants provided the sound effects of an entire rodeo as she yelled out “Yee-haws” and “Giddy-ups” at the top of her lungs. At this time I’d like to make the disclaimer that I do not necessarily endorse or take responsibility for any of my fellow participants’ behavior. We’re a classy organization which believes in the power of therapeutic humor and laughter and each member must be responsible for their own behavior while representing AATH. I don’t know if the cowboy screams were the reason we got kicked out, but I would certainly bet that the hootin’ and hollerin’ certainly speeded up the process!
It all happened so fast. We were in the mall for two minutes tops. We saw Jalapena walking towards us, but before we could even have a reunion hug, a brick wall of a security guard came between us and halted our mission. He cited violation 05-73... “no costumes in the mall, at least without the prior written consent from management.” Our resident photographer, Dave Lieber, columnist with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, in classic journalistic fashion started snapping pictures of the confrontation. “Mr. Security Guard isn’t going to like that, Yogi.” Dave assured the rent-a-cop that he deleted the pictures (see Figure 1b).
Austin was selected to host the 2006 Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) annual conference and yours truly me, Danny D was selected to lead a group of conference participants out on the street of Austin in my field trip entitled ”Clown On Down, Texas! The Feel-Good Field Trip.” Last year in the small resort town of Safety Harbor, Florida we had a magical field trip filled with amazing interactions with the unsuspecting locals. This year promised for even greater interactions in the much busier city of Austin. The hotel claimed to be “at the capitol.” I guess that was a marketing decision. It sounds better than the more accurate “Marriott at the highway.” The actual capitol was about 5 blocks away, the same distance to Austin’s famous 6th Street. Most of Austin’s 100 live music venues are on 6th street and good luck finding any other establishments on that street besides bars, restaurants and tattoo parlors. The street turns into a party every night but during the day it’s pretty quiet and seemed to be inhabited mostly by homeless folks. Ideally, if the hotel was “at the capitol” there probably would have been people to interact with right outside the door.
The choice between a five block walk to the capital or to 6th Street was never made. Not only were there hardly any people out braving the unseasonably cool weather, but none of us were all that excited about Jack Frost nipping at our clown noses. I certainly did not want to see our field trip get cancelled so when Dave Lieber suggested we find a shopping mall, I saw the dark clouds part which allowed the indoor fluorescent lighting to bask a hopeful glow on our bleak situation. Yes! The mall indeed! The carpool arrangements fell nicely into place and the announcement was made that we would still be clownin’ on down!
Twelve of us arrived at the nearby Highland Mall and met up with Renée Cohn Jones (code name "Jalapena the Clown") for this mission of spreading laughter and cheer. Jalapena brought along our secret weapon-her two adorable clown daughters decked out in their cute clown clothes. Even the toughest cowboy would melt and find it impossible to resist smiling at the sight of them. AATH is an international organization and this mission was represented by some of the finest fun-seekers from California, Colorado, Illinois, Montana, New Jersey, Texas, and Virginia and from the Canadian provinces of Alberta and Ontario. Canadians Cheryl Ann Oberg (code name “Miss Loosie”) and June Boag Coleman donned hilarious inflatable horse and bull costumes. Their legs were the back legs of the animal and their upper bodies were joined by inflatable human legs to give the illusion that Cheryl and June were riding the horse and bull. One of our participants provided the sound effects of an entire rodeo as she yelled out “Yee-haws” and “Giddy-ups” at the top of her lungs. At this time I’d like to make the disclaimer that I do not necessarily endorse or take responsibility for any of my fellow participants’ behavior. We’re a classy organization which believes in the power of therapeutic humor and laughter and each member must be responsible for their own behavior while representing AATH. I don’t know if the cowboy screams were the reason we got kicked out, but I would certainly bet that the hootin’ and hollerin’ certainly speeded up the process!
It all happened so fast. We were in the mall for two minutes tops. We saw Jalapena walking towards us, but before we could even have a reunion hug, a brick wall of a security guard came between us and halted our mission. He cited violation 05-73... “no costumes in the mall, at least without the prior written consent from management.” Our resident photographer, Dave Lieber, columnist with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, in classic journalistic fashion started snapping pictures of the confrontation. “Mr. Security Guard isn’t going to like that, Yogi.” Dave assured the rent-a-cop that he deleted the pictures (see Figure 1b).
Figure 1b: Canadian troublemakers busted by mall security (photo by Dave Lieber)
I told Officer Cranky that it was the lousy Texas weather which had us come to the mall instead of being out on the streets and explained our AATH mission field trip to him. Barney Fife then told us to wait there while he went to get management. As we congregated outside the jewelry store, we came up with our game plan.
”Who’s going to do the talking?”
”Well Dave, either you or me,” I said sporting my chicken hat and multi-colored funky glasses.
We decided Dave Lieber (plain clothes division) would be our spokesperson. I watched from a distance as the tall blonde woman manager shook her head “no” to Dave’s request. When we arrived at the mall, I saw that Austin Lieber, Dave’s 8 year-old son, was packing heat. That’s right. He had with him his battery-powered fart machine! Now if there was a more opportune time for Austin to trigger that remote control, I’d like to see it. Austin was running around the conference all weekend with that contraption, hiding under tables and injecting flagellant sound effects into participants’ conversations. I don’t know if he pressed the button at that moment, but I’m sure as time passes and this story gets embellished, we’ll all swear that he snuck behind the manager and let it rip!
As we exited the mall we couldn’t pass up the photo opportunity that presented itself to us. The mall security truck was parked right outside. (see Figure 1c) There were two Hispanic girls who came out and took pictures with us. They thought we were hilarious and said they were going to write a letter to the editor to bring public attention to the injustice that we suffered. Before returning to the Marriott we stopped by the capitol for one last group photo with the dome as our backdrop.
”Who’s going to do the talking?”
”Well Dave, either you or me,” I said sporting my chicken hat and multi-colored funky glasses.
We decided Dave Lieber (plain clothes division) would be our spokesperson. I watched from a distance as the tall blonde woman manager shook her head “no” to Dave’s request. When we arrived at the mall, I saw that Austin Lieber, Dave’s 8 year-old son, was packing heat. That’s right. He had with him his battery-powered fart machine! Now if there was a more opportune time for Austin to trigger that remote control, I’d like to see it. Austin was running around the conference all weekend with that contraption, hiding under tables and injecting flagellant sound effects into participants’ conversations. I don’t know if he pressed the button at that moment, but I’m sure as time passes and this story gets embellished, we’ll all swear that he snuck behind the manager and let it rip!
As we exited the mall we couldn’t pass up the photo opportunity that presented itself to us. The mall security truck was parked right outside. (see Figure 1c) There were two Hispanic girls who came out and took pictures with us. They thought we were hilarious and said they were going to write a letter to the editor to bring public attention to the injustice that we suffered. Before returning to the Marriott we stopped by the capitol for one last group photo with the dome as our backdrop.
Figure 1c: The Security Guard decides to take us all in for questioning (photo by Dave Lieber)
It certainly wasn’t what I expected. But then again, it never really is. Everything happens for a reason and perhaps we were meant to experience the resistance we encountered. If anything, it showed me the importance of joining together to fight this war of doom and gloom. Folks don’t like getting snapped out of their comfort zone and it’s these same folks who live their lives in fear. To think that 15 smiling colorful characters out on a mission to brighten up a cloudy day would occur as threatening in a city whose motto is “Keep Austin Weird” is sad, disheartening, and freaking hilarious. Our experience encouraged June to write a protest song to the tune “Deep In The Heart of Texas” I’ve attached it as a separate post to this blog. I encourage you to contribute your comments and creativity as well. And it’s my wish that someday, deep in the heart of Texas and in hearts everywhere, you’ll experience the same Love, Laughter and Connection that the 200 participants of the Annual AATH Conference experienced during that magical weekend of February of 2006.
Clowning at the Capitol (photo by Dave Lieber)
Peace, Love and Donuts,
Danny
©2006, Pair of D’s Productions, http://dannydonuts.com
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ODE TO AUSTIN HOSPITALITY or
THE DAY THEY PUT DANNY'S CLOWNS DOWN
Written in about an hour following the fated event.
To the tune of "Yellow Rose of Texas"
Clowns in the mall,
Are not welcome at all.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Entering with glee
Brought security.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Welcome ! Howdy Do !
Meant we don't want you.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
So they clowned on down
Right back to town.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Under the Capitol dome
They felt at home.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Their cameras flashed
Like shotgun blasts.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Real cops sat there
Without a care.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
The moral true
I'll leave to you.
BIG FINISH AND REPEATED CHORUS
Deep in the Heart of Texas
YEEEEHAH Y'ALL !!!
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THE DAY THEY PUT DANNY'S CLOWNS DOWN
Written in about an hour following the fated event.
To the tune of "Yellow Rose of Texas"
Clowns in the mall,
Are not welcome at all.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Entering with glee
Brought security.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Welcome ! Howdy Do !
Meant we don't want you.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
So they clowned on down
Right back to town.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Under the Capitol dome
They felt at home.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Their cameras flashed
Like shotgun blasts.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Real cops sat there
Without a care.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
The moral true
I'll leave to you.
BIG FINISH AND REPEATED CHORUS
Deep in the Heart of Texas
YEEEEHAH Y'ALL !!!
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